The official diagnosis

So it´s official. I´m definately Hep C positive!

I had my 2nd appointment with the hepatologist today. I spent well over 3 hours at the hospital, most of it in the waiting room, as per usual! I had an ultrasound scan which apparently can determine signs of liver cirrhosis. My ultrasound results were fine. They even checked my kidneys, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas & stomach! Liver damage can cause an enlarged spleen, the doctor explained to me, but mine, he said, looked fine. He offered no explanation as to why they checked all the other organs too though, but just told me that everything looked ok. As far as a liver biopsy goes, they won´t do one for me here in Germany coz I´ll be back in England by the time the results come back & (of course) they´ll be in German. So, I have to get myself referred to a hepatologist in England asap & get my first biopsy done there.

I can´t say I was surprised at the results of my blood tests. I kind of knew that I was positive. I´ve been suffering symptoms which could be directly caused by the hepatitis for quite a few years now: the unexplained sweats (is it or is it not the menopause???), aches & pains (investigated & found not to be arthritic in origin), forgetfulness (I used to say I was pre-maturely senile - lol), & lack of co-ordination (which I always put down to my arthritis).

I had reckoned on being told I was positive, & being advised that treatment should be started asap so that I could get back on the straight & narrow with my rheumatic medication. I was told that the 2 treatments counteract with each other, & that I can´t have Interferon & take anti-rheumatic medication at the same time, even if it is just steroids, which I am currently taking. So, thought I (quite wrongly, as it happens), the doctor would suggest that I get my hepatitis treated asap, taking into consideration that I have symptoms, haven´t yet started the menopause & am 'only' 41.

What I didn´t expect, was what I got told...... that my raised Liver Function Test (LFT) results are slowly returning back to normal & that it is likely that my medication did cause my raised LFTs in the first place. Therefore, I need to get put onto a suitable anti-rheumatic medication that won´t upset my liver any more & have quarterly blood tests & 3-yearly liver biopsies to monitor the progress of the hepatitis.

What am I supposed to think of all this? I really don´t know! Part of me is relieved that it must be a good sign if the doctor thinks my raised LFTs are a result of my medication & not the hepatitis, right? But I´m worried about leaving the treatment too long. I´ve spent most of today in a kind of little bubble, where I´m physically present, but mentally elsewhere. But what have I been thinking these past few hours? I honestly can´t tell you!! I feel like I´m suffering with concussion & can´t think straight - & that scares me in itself.

Now I´m back to playing the waiting game again - waiting until I get back to England on 8th October, get an appointment with my GP & get referred, not only to a hepatologist, but a rheumatologist aswell.

As long as I can remember, we have always joked in our family, that things are never straight forward for you if you are one of us - how true that it is in this instance, eh? I feel very pesimistic & sorry for myself at the moment & while I know that´s bad, I just can´t help myself. But hey, tomorrow´s another day & maybe in the morning, my glass will be half full instead of half empty!!