It's great to be back!

Well, the trip back over to Telford went exactly as planned & we arrived on my parents doorstep at 05.30am last Monday. We had the customary cup of tea & chat about the trip & then I excused myself & went to bed for a few hours. I got up at 10.30am, feeling great, although very tired. I felt such a deep sense of relief at being back home permanently at last, that nothing could dampen my spirits!!

I've had an extremely busy few days since then. I went to the jobcentre Monday afternoon to register for a handout. What a surprise - they do it all over the phone now (probably sick & tired of people threatening them!!) Tuesday I registered with the dentist & the local library (got to get internet access from somewhere, eh?) & was again surprised to be told that the library offers FREE internet access - I didn't think anyone offered anything free any more!!

Yesterday I had my first appointment with the GP. It didn't go as I had imagined. She was very 'matter of fact' about all my problems (& I have several, not just the arthritis & hep C). Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've got a referral to my old rheumatologist, which I'm pleased about 'coz not only does he know me, but we seem to understand each other well. My GP wants to leave it up to my rheumatologist to refer me on to a hepatologist so it's going to take forever & a day before I even start to get this thing sorted 'coz I'm not seeing the rheumatologist until January!! Still, I'm determined not to let this get me depressed & rule my life. I'm busy applying for jobs - infact, I have an interview on Monday - & I'm just going to carry on with life as normal until January & then tackle my health together with old "Pixie Dixey" as I affectionately call my rheumatologist.

I've told my parents about the hep C - did that a couple of days ago. It went much smoother than I thought & they've given me their full support. There was none of the expected 'going off at tangents' with other related problems (such as job hunting) but plenty of concern & empathy for my predicament. I'm just a little concerned that they didn't grasp the full implications of my health problems, so I do intend to sit them down again & go through it some more with them, once they've had time to digest what I've already told them.

I still have to tell my 2 daughters too - I just haven't had a good enough opportunity to do that yet, but feel more confident about telling them having got a good response from my parents.

All in all, it's absolutely fantastic to be back in Telford, despite all it's faults! I feel quite positive, relaxed & have enough family & friends around me to help me out, no matter what I need, from advice, to a lift into town, to a jolly good laugh!!!!!!!

I just hope I can keep my attitude like this - at least until January!

D-Day - England here I come!

Well, it´s my last night here in Germany. I´m sure you all will understand when I say that I seem to have waited forever for this day to come around & now it seems to have dropped on me like a tonne of bricks!!

We had a lovely family dinner at my nieces house tonight, with a few tears shed for the times that we might have had in the future but won´t have now, ´coz I won´t be here. But hey, England isn´t that far away from Germany, right? My sister has lived over here for the best part of 30 years now & I can remember back then, Germany did seem like it was an age away & at the end of a holiday, we never did know when we would see each other again, but it´s certainly not like that now, thanks to airlines like Ryanair & the other cheapies.

I´ve managed to remain quite positive about my hepatitis these past couple of weeks, mainly ´coz I´ve had my move to England to prepare for & all my last minute stuff over here to ´tidy up´.

I have been worrying a little over the past couple of days though - about how I´m going to tell my family about my hepatitis. There´s only really my parents & my 2 daughters that essentially need to know & after reading advice given to me on the forum & talking to my niece about it at length, I´ve decided to tell my parents first & on their own & then tackle telling my daughters afterwards. My main concern is with my parents (especially my mum). They are of the older generation & don´t take information like this on board very easily. They don´t have a computer either, let alone internet access, so I can´t just give them a couple of websites to look up, like I did with my niece. I can just see my mum getting side-tracked & going off at tangents about whether I should infact be seeking full-time work & how I´m going to manage financially if I can´t work. So, I´ve decided not to tell them as soon as I get over there, but rather wait a couple of days, until I have been to the job centre, spoken with a Disability Employment Adviser, been to register for a flat, & seen my GP. Then I´ll be able to also tackle a few of my mum´s other questions as well as those related to the hepatitis. What I know will also worry her is how it will all work out with my arthritis as well, so I think I might invite her along to my first appointments (when I eventually get them) with the rheumatologist & hepatologist which will make her feel a little more able to support me in a practical way, which I know she´ll want to be able to do. As far as my daughters are concerned, I think they´ll be more worried about my health & if / how I can get better, rather than where I got it from etc, so I´m fairly relaxed (I think) about that conversation.

So, I think I´ve got my thoughts straight about how I´m going to tell those closest to me. For the time being, I won´t be telling anyone else - I´ll make a decision on who else might need to know at a later date. Let´s just tackle exactly what needs to be done for now & what can be left for another time, can just be put to one side.

Well, it´s 02.10am here in Germany now, & although we´re not leaving until the afternoon, I´ve still got a few things to do & need to get up early. Then there´s the long journey ahead of us (me, my niece, her husband & her son, that is). Wolfsheim to Calais, then the ferry crossing, then Dover to Telford, where we should arrive around 06.00am Monday morning.

Internet access will be hit & miss in Telford for a while, but I´ll try & get to this blog as often as I can & certainly to record the important stuff.

I really can´t wait to get there, I can tell you. You know the saying "you never know what you´ve got till it´s gone"? Well, that´s so, so true!!

"Take me home, take me home, I know the place I long to be ........."