Things finally coming together....

I've managed to stay quite optimistic & positive through my treatment so far & still am really, although not to as great an extent as before. However, my character has changed quite dramatically over the past few weeks. I'm far less energetic & far less motivated than I have been. I used to be able to give myself a swift kick up the rear & make myself do things, even if I didn't feel much like it, knowing that I'd feel tonnes better for having made the effort.

I'm not getting to sleep till 2-3 am each night & consequently, not wanting to get up till gone 10am each morning. I've never been a person to go to bed early, but have never stayed up as late as I'm doing now without a reason. This is playing havoc with work, as you might imagine. Getting up at 7am for work is a mammoth struggle & I'm constantly tired. Also, it's a struggle getting out of bed in the mornings as my joints are stiff & hurt quite a lot. This makes everything so much more of an effort.

I hate crowds - although I'm ok amongst my friends, I avoid the shops & any other busy places like the plague. I can't tolerate the overwhelming noise when too many people talk all at once - makes me feel like I'm going mad & my heads going to explode.I'm not eating properly either. All my life I've had a very healthy appetite but recently, am struggling to eat enough to survive (but still not losing weight - that must be the steroids, I think!) I'm not enjoying my food at all really - or drink for that matter!

I'm finding myself getting shorter tempered with people, particularly my mum & am spending an awful lot of my spare time up in my room on my own. I keep telling myself that I'll do things tomorrow, but tomorrow never seems to come & then I feel guilty for not doing things & chastise myself for it!I talked all this through with Sandra (my nurse) at my appointment last Thursday & we came to the conclusion that it’d be worth me trying some anti-depressants. I don't see taking anti depressants as being a failure through treatment but was hoping to do without them ‘coz of my added complication having RA. My mum came with me too & found it quite useful. Sandra did tell my mum in no uncertain terms, that all the things I'm displaying are common in people undergoing this treatment (including the poor eating!) which was good.

Oh, & I mustn’t forget to say that my treatment finishes at 48 weeks, as originally planned – isn’t that fantastic??

I had to go to my GP to get the prescription & he wants to see me again in 3 weeks to see how I'm getting on & Sandra has said that she'll phone me in a fortnight to check that I'm ok.

My bloods are ok, apart from my Hb which has dropped a tiny bit (11.5), as have my platelets (111), but neither of these are drastic. All other results were fine.

I've also negotiated more flexible working hours which means I can work from home more or go in later in the mornings if I need to. I can even do a shorter week & make my hours up from home at a weekend if I want! My boss & I will review how this goes in 6 weeks (gives me time for the Citalopram to kick in properly) as she's concerned that I might need to formally reduce my hours until I finish treatment.

I also received a letter from my rheumatologist yesterday. He’s sought advice from the hepatologist & they’ve concluded that I can start taking Methotrexate, which is a disease modifying drug for rheumatoid arthritis but only on condition that I have bloods taken every fortnight as a precaution.

So all in all, I’m on the road to getting sorted & feel a lot easier about things!